


Fleetwood Mac Family Feud

by Cheriluvs10



Category: Family Feud (TV), Fleetwood Mac (Band), The Eagles (Band)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 06:47:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheriluvs10/pseuds/Cheriluvs10
Summary: Say You Will era with Christine. Parody of Family Feud game with Fleetwood Mac versus the Eagles.





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: I originally wrote this in 2003. The story is set in that period but Christine is with FM because each side has five players. 

Part One 

(Family Feud theme song plays.) 

ANNOUNCER: And now, from Hollywood, California, it's the celebrity edition of Family Feud! It's Fleetwood Mac... 

(On one side of the stage is a huge painted piece of wood that says FLEEYWOOD MAC on it. The wood slides up to reveal the members of Fleetwood Mac. Stevie and Christine are sitting in wooden chairs while Lindsey, Mick and John are standing behind them. The women get up and all of them walk down three blue carpeted steps to a long podium in front of them.) 

ANNOUNCER: Versus the Eagles! 

(Directly across from Fleetwood Mac, another piece of wood with EAGLES on it slides up, revealing the band. Don Henley and Glenn Frey are sitting in the chairs while Joe Walsh, Don Felder and Timothy B. Schmidt stand behind them. Don and Glenn get up and they walk down to the podium.) 

ANNOUNCER: And now, here is your host, Richard Dawson. 

(Everyone applauds as Richard walks onto the set through an entrance on the left side. He goes up to the front of the stage and bows slightly as the audience applauds. 

RICHARD: Thank you, thank you. Welcome to Family Feud. We have a special episode today. We have two giants of the music world battling it out for the charity of their choice. Let's meet the contestants! 

(He walks over to the Fleetwood Mac side. Stevie is first at the podium. Richard pulls some little blue cards out of his pocket and smiles at Stevie.) 

RICHARD: Why don't you introduce yourself and your band to our audience? 

STEVIE: Okay, I'm Stevie Nicks. Next to me is Lindsey Buckingham. Then we have John McVie, Christine McVie and Mick Fleetwood on the end. 

RICHARD: Pleasure to meet you. 

(Suddenly, Richard grabs Stevie's head, jerks her forward and snogs her senseless for ten seconds while everyone stares at him in shock. He lets go and Stevie reels back in shock while Lindsey gives Richard a look of death. He moves to Lindsey and Lindsey steps back, wary. But Richard shakes his hand and moves on. He does the same with John but when he gets to Christine, he grabs her head and frenches her like he did Stevie while Chris's band members glare at him. Then he lets go and moves to Mick while Christine gulps in lungfuls of air. Mick holds up his hands when Richard stops in front of him.) 

MICK: Don't snog me, mate. 

(But Richard merely shakes his hand and moves across the stage to the Eagles who are eyeing him warily.) 

RICHARD: So. Tell us who you are and the names of your bandmates. 

DON: Um...I'm Don Henley. Beside me is Joe Walsh. Then Glenn Frey, Don Felder and Timothy B. Schmitt. 

(Richard shook hands with all of them before walking back to the center of the stage.) 

RICHARD: The rules are simple. We surveyed 100 people on different topics and picked the top answers. These answers are on the board behind me. The object is to get as many answers as you can without getting three strikes. Three strikes means the opposing team gets a chance to guess. If they get an answer correct, they win the round and the points. Get it wrong and the round goes to the opposing team. So now that you know the rules...Stevie, Don, let's start the feud! 

(Theme song plays as Stevie and Don walk around their respective podiums and head for a smaller podium between them. Stevie stands on the left side of the podium, Don stands on the right and Richard stands behind it. Richard points to a big red button on the podium in front of Stevie.) 

RICHARD: One hand on buzzer, the other behind your back. Top five answers on the board. 

(Stevie rolls her eyes when Don winks at here before looking at her chiffon covered breasts and oogling them.) 

RICHARD: Name an animal that's found in cold climates. 

(Stevie hits the buzzer first, beating Don who is still oogling the goods. Richard looks at her.) 

STEVIE: Penguin, Richard. 

(Richard turns around and looks up. Above them is a huge board with several rectangular slats on it. The first five slats are numbered. Richard raised his hand that was holding the cards.) 

RICHARD: Show me penguin! 

(There is a loud ding and Stevie squeals with delight as the first slat spins around, revealing PENGUIN as the number one answer. Richard looks at her while Don sulks. 

RICHARD: Play or pass, Stevie? 

( Stevie turns and looks at her band mates. They yell "Play!" at her. Stevie turns back around.) 

STEVIE: We'll play, Richard. 

DON (Leers at Stevie): See you and your tits later, babe. 

STEVIE: In your dreams, Henley. 

(Don leers at her as she turns and walks purposefully back to her spot. He adopts an innocent demeanor when he notices Lindsey glaring at him. Smirking, he turns and walks back to his spot while Richard walks up to Lindsey.) 

RICHARD: Lindsey, name an animal that's found in cold climates. 

(Richard frowns when Lindsey doesn't answer and just glares at Don who is across the way, cupping imaginary breasts on his chest while he leers at Stevie.) 

RICHARD: Lindsey, name an animal that's found in cold climates. 

(Stevie swats his arm and Lindsey snaps out of it.) 

LINDSEY: Um...polar bear, Richard. 

(His band mates clsp and yell GOOD ANSWER! while Richard turns towards the board.) 

RICHARD: Show me polar bear! 

DING! 

(Polar bear is the number two answer. Lindsey and Stevie high five each other while Richard moves on to John.) 

RICHARD: John, name an animal that's found in cold climates. 

(John stares at the board while he thinks.) 

JOHN: Seals, Richard. 

(Everyone says GOOD ANSWER! as Richard turns to the board.)

RICHARD: Show me, seals! 

DING! 

(Seal is the number five answer. John smiles while Lindsey pats him on the back. Richards walks on to Christine who backs up warily away from his lips.) 

RICHARD: Christine, name an animal found in cold climates. 

CHRISTINE: Walrus, Richard. 

(Richard turns as the others clap and yell good answer!) 

RICHARD: Show me Walrus! 

DING! 

(Christine squeals with joy while Mick and John pats her on the back when walrus is the number three answer. Richard moves to Mick and is about to ask him the question when Lindsey suddenly yells out, KNOCK IT OFF! Richard turns and sees Don and Joe leering at Stevie while she is ducking down behind her podium. Don and Joe spy Richard looking at them and instantly adopt blank faces and innocent demeanors. Richard turns back to Mick.) 

RICHARD: Mick, name an animal found in cold climates. 

MICK: Um...arctic wolves. 

(Richard turns to the board while the others do the obligatory clapping and good answering.) 

RICHARD: Show me arctic wolves. 

AAAAAAAAAHNT 

(A red X appears on the TV screen briefly as the wrong answer buzzer is heard. Richard walks back to Stevie.) 

RICHARD: Stevie, name an animal that's found in cold climates. 

STEVIE (Staring at the one slat that remains unturned.): Um...arctic...foxes? 

(Richard turns as the band claps and good answers Stevie.) 

RICHARD: Show me arctic foxes! 

AAAAAAAAAAAHNT! 

STEVIE: Damn it. 

(Richard moves to Lindsey as Don and Joe resume leering and wolf whistling at Stevie while she ducks down behind the podium again.) 

RICHARD: Lindsey... 

LINDSEY: Name an animal found in cold climates. You don't have to repeat it to every person. We aren't stupid like some people. 

(He eyes Don. Don and Joe kiss the air and wink at him while the rest of the Eagles chuckle.) 

LINDSEY (Eyeing Don and Joe): Um... 

(He looked at the board, not able to think of anything else while Richard tells him ten seconds are left for him to answer. Lindsey shrugs as AAAAAAAAAHNT signals the third strike. As Richard walks across the stage, the Eagles break out of a huddle and shout answers to Don while Richard walks up to him. 

RICHARD: Don, name an animal found in cold climates. 

(Don gives Lindsey a smug look.) 

DON (Keeping his eyes on Lindsey while speaking.): We're gonna go with reindeer, Richard, since the musical genius forgot about that. 

LINDSEY:  "BLEEEEP" you, Henley! 

(Lindsey clears his throat while Richard turns to glare at him before looking at the board.) 

RICHARD: Show me reindeer! 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHNT! 

DON: WHAT???? 

Fleetwood Mac members jump up and down and celebrate as the round and points go to them. Richard turns towards the board and the revealing of the final answer.)

RICHARD: Number four? 

(The number four slat spins around.) 

AUDIENCE ( Shouting out the answer in unison.): ESKIMO! 

DON: WHAT? That's not an animal! 

DON F: Well, technically it is. 

DON: Oh shut up, Felder. Nobody asked you! 

RICHARD (Looking into the camera.): We'll be right back after this commercial break!


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

(Family Feud theme song plays...)

RICHARD: And we're back. Fleetwood Mac has won the first round. Let's see if they can keep the winning streak going. Lindsey, Joe, let's start the feud.

STEVIE: Truer words were never spoken.

(Lindsey glares at Joe as he,and Joe walk up to the podium.)

JOE (Grins at Lindsey): After the game, Don and me are gonna have some fun with Stevie.

LINDSEY (through gritted teeth): Over my dead body.

RICHARD: Gentlemen, hands on buzzers. 100 people surveyed, top eight answers on the board. Name a person Stevie Nicks has slept with.

(Lindsey freezes in shock while Joe slams his hand down on his buzzer. Richard looks at him.)

JOE (Proudly): Me, Richard.

RICHARD: Show me Joe Walsh!

DING!

(Joe Walsh is the number three answer. Richard looks at Lindsey. Lindsey gives Joe a smug look.)

LINDSEY: Me, Richard.

RICHARD: Show me, Lindsey Buckingham! 

DING!

(Fleetwood Mac cheers when Lindsey Buckingham is the number one answer. Richard asks if they're going to pass or play.)

LINDSEY (Glances at his band mates): We'll play, Richard.

(Lindsey gives Joe a gloating look while Joe discreetly flips him off. Lindsey walks back to his place while Richard walks over to John.)

RICHARD: John, name a person Stevie Nicks has slept with.

JOHN: Mick Fleetwood.

(Richard turns as everyone claps and yells GOOD ANSWER!)

RICHARD: Show me, Mick Fleetwood!

DING!

(Mick Fleetwood is the number two answer. The band cheers and Eagles boo while Richard moves to Christine.)

RICHARD: Christine, name a person Stevie Nicks has slept with.

CHRISTINE (Points to Don): Henley over there.

RICHARD: Show me, Don Henley!

DING!

(Don Henley is the number four answer. Don's mouth drops open)

DON: Number four? I should be higher than that! How come Joe is higher than me?

(Richard moves to Mick.)

RICHARD: Mick, name a person Stevie Nicks has slept with.

MICK: Um...I woulda said me but John beat me to it. Um...who else? Oh! Jimmy Iovine.

RICHARD: Show me Jimmy Iovine!

DING!

(The band cheers. Jimmy Iovine is the number five answer. Richard walks back to Stevie who is completely confused.)

RICHARD: Stevie, name a person you've slept with.

STEVIE: No one, this is it. All the people I slept with have been named. And why the hell is this even a category...

RICHARD: Ten seconds left.

STEVIE: Fine. Tom Petty. I suppose people think I banged him.

RICHARD: Show me, Tom Petty!

AAAAAAAAAAAAÀAAAAANT!

STEVIE: Good because I didn't.(Richard moves to Lindsey.)

RICHARD: Lindsey. Name  person Stevie Nicks slept with.

LINDSEY: Um...Waddy Wachtel?

RICHARD: Show me, Waddy Wachtel!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

(Richard moves to John while Stevie shakes her head and mutters under her breath about how there's no one else.)

RICHARD: John, name a person Stevie Nicks has slept with.

JOHN: Not me, that's for damn sure. Um...John Courage?

RICHARD: Show me John Courage!

AAAAAAAAAAAANT!

(Fleetwood Mac glance at each other while Richard walks across to Don. Don comes out of the huddle and stands in his spot while his band shouts names at him.)

RICHARD: Don, name a person Stevie Nicks has slept with.

DON: Um...we're gonna say Prince, Richard.

RICHARD: Show me, Prince!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

(Fleetwood Mac celebrate as they win. Then they shut up and stare at the board as Richard looks at it.)

RICHARD: Number six?

DING! 

AUDIENCE: RICHARD DASHUT!

STEVIE: WHAT? I DID NOT!

(Camera cuts to Richard Dashut sitting in the audience beside Ken Caillat. Ken gives his friend a shocked look while Richard shakes his head rapidly. Camera cuts back to Richard Dawson.)

RICHARD: Number seven? 

DING!

AUDIENCE: FRANK, THE DOMINOES PIZZA DELIVERY GUY!

LINDSEY: WHO? WHO THE HELL IS FRANK?

(They hear someone clearing their throat in the front row. Everyone looks over at the front row as an old nerdy man with zits all over his face stands up.)

FRANK: That's me.

LINDSEY: YOU? WHEN DID YOU SLEEP WITH STEVIE?

FRANK: 1985. I delivered a pizza to Stevie and when I came to the door, she was drunk and horny and lonely for you so she pulled me inside and she had sex with me.

(Lindsey stared at Frank in disbelief before he burst out laughing. Stevie glares at him while he laughs hysterically.)

RICHARD: We'll be right back...


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

(Family Feud theme music plays.)

RICHARD: And, we're back

(Richard looks over at Lindsey who is snickering to himself as Stevie is glaring at him. Richard walks over.)

RICHARD: What's so funny, Lindsey?

LINDSEY: I'm sorry but I still can't get over the fact that she had all these big name celebrities and then, there's Frank (laughs)

(He looks over at Stevie and giggles as Stevie rolls her eyes at him.)

LINDSEY (tickling her chin affectionately): So Stevie, if you didn't come in thirty minutes or less, was the pizza free then?

(Stevie eyes him as Lindsey puts his head down on the podium and snorts out laughter.)

RICHARD: Um, we better get back to the game now.

(Lindsey nods as he composes himself. As Richard walks back to the podium, he takes one last look at Frank and looks at Stevie with an amused grin on his face. Richard clears his throat.)

RICHARD: Okay, John and Glenn, let's start the feud.

(John and Glenn walk up to the podium as Lindsey bursts into a new fit of giggles and Stevie says "For Christ's sake, Buckingham, get a grip!" John and Glenn reach the podium as Lindsey calms down.)

RICHARD: Hand behind your back, Gentlemen, 100 people surveyed, top 7 answers on the board. Name an album you can't live without.

(John and Glenn hit their buzzers. The light goes off on Glenn side.)

GLENN: Hotel California.

RICHARD: Show me Hotel California!

"ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT"

(Glenn's mouth drops open as the other Eagles gasp behind him. Richard looks at John.)

JOHN (Grinning): Rumours.

RICHARD: Show me Rumours!

"DING"

(Glenn's mouth drops open even more.)

GLENN: NUMBER ONE ANSWER? HELL, NO!

JOHN (Grinning): HELL, YES!

RICHARD (To John): Play or pass?

(John looked back at the band. They looked at each other and give a collective shrug.)

ALL: Play!

JOHN: We'll play, Richard.

(Richard nods and Glenn and John walk back to their podiums. Richard walks past him to Chris.)

RICHARD: Christine, Name an album you can't live without.

CHRIS (Thinks): Um...The Beatle's White Album?

(Richard turns as everyone claps and says "GOOD ANSWER!")

RICHARD: Show me The Beatle's White Album!

'ANNNNNNNNNNNNT'

(Chris's eyes widen in surprise as Richard moves past her to Mick.)

RICHARD: Mick, name an album you can't live without.

(Mick looks up at the board as he thinks to himself.)

MICK: Um....Sergeant Pepper's?

(Mick shrugs as everyone claps and says "GOOD ANSWER!")

RICHARD: Show me Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!

'ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!'

(Everyone's eyes widen in surprise as Richard goes across to The Eagle's side.)

MICK: What the Hell? Sergeant Pepper's isn't on there? Then, what is?

(Richard walks up to Don as he looks down the line at his band mates.)

RICHARD: Don, name an album you can't live without.

DON: Um...Well...we're kinda stumped. I guess we'll say Michael Jackson's Thriller album.

(Don shrugs as the other Eagles clap and say "GOOD ANSWER")

RICHARD: Show me Thriller!

'ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!'

(Everyone's eyes widened in shock. They lean their heads forward waiting for the other 6 answers. One by one they start to turn over.)

RICHARD: Number 2 is....

'DING'

ALL: Fleetwood Mac

RICHARD: Number 3 is...

'DING'

ALL: Tusk

RICHARD: Number 4 is...

'DING'

ALL: Mirage

RICHARD: Number 5 is...

'DING' 

ALL: Tango in the Night.

RICHARD: Number 6 is...

'DING'

ALL: The Dance

RICHARD: And number 7 is...

'DING'

ALL: Say You Will.

THE EAGLES: WHAT???????????

(Fleetwood Mac stare at the board with stunned looks on their faces as The Eagle's jaws drop to the floor.)

DON: BULL (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) That is (BLEEP)ING BULL (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) THERE IS NO WAY ALL THE ALBUMS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ARE (BLEEP)ING FLEETWOOD MAC ALBUMS! THIS GAME IS (BLEEP)ING RIGGED!

RICHARD (To Don): Do you have a problem with the survey?

DON: Yes, I have a problem with the survey! it's (BLEEP)ing rigged, that's my problem with it! There is no way you are gonna survey 100 people and get all Fleetwood Mac albums for answers. There's just no (BLEEP)ing way!

RICHARD (Looking off camera): Judges?

(He pauses for a moment, nods and looks back at Don.)

RICHARD: The judges say to quit yer bitchin' and play the game!

(The Eagle's jaw drops to the floor as Fleetwood Mac giggles.)

RICHARD (To Camera): We'll be right back...


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

RICHARD: Welcome back...Let's play Family Feud.

JOE (angrily): More like Family Fraud if you ask me!

(Richard looks at Chris and Don Felder as they come up to the podium. Don F glares at Chris.)

DON F: So, McVie, how much did your band pay Richard to rig the game?

CHRIS (glaring at him): I assure you, we have nothing to do with it!

(Don F snorts. He looks over and glares at Fleetwood Mac as they all shrug.)

RICHARD: Hand behind your backs, 100 people surveyed, top 5 answers on the board...Name a way that Fleetwood Mac is better than The Eagles.

(As Don F's mouth drops open and his band mates scream out "WHAT????" Chris slams her hand down on the buzzer.)

CHRIS: We're more talented.

RICHARD: Show me more talented!

'DING'

(The Eagles scream out "Hell, NO!"  as More Talented turns out to be number 1. Chris shrugs and snickers.)

RICHARD: Play or pass, Christine?

(Chris looks back at the others. Without hesitation, they scream out...)

ALL: PLAY!!!!

CHRIS: Play, Richard.

(As Richard nods, Chris walks back, giggling, towards the others. Richard starts over, but, is stopped by Don F who grabs on his sleeve.)

RICHARD: Yeah?

DON F: Can we register a protest?

RICHARD: No.

(As Don F stares at him in shock, Richard pulls away from him and walks over to Mick.)

RICHARD: Okay, Mick, name a way that Fleetwood Mac is better than The Eagles.

MICK: We're better looking.

(As the rest of the band screams out "GOOD ANSWER!" and The Eagles scream out "BULL(BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)!!!!! Richard looks at the board.)

RICHARD: Show me more good looking!

'DING!'

(More Good Looking is the number 2 answer. The Eagle's mouths drop to the ground.)

DON: What the Hell is going on here?

(Richard walks up to Lindsey.)

RICHARD: Name a way that Fleetwood Mac is better than The Eagles.

LINDSEY (Grins): We have Stevie Nicks.

(Richard turns around as everyone claps and yells "GOT THAT RIGHT!")

RICHARD: Show me Stevie!

'DING'

(Stevie Nicks is number 3. The Eagles begin to protest loudly as Richard moves to Stevie.)

RICHARD: Name a way that Fleetwood Mac is better than The Eagles.

STEVIE (Giggling): We have Lindsey!

(Richard turns and looks up at the board.)

RICHARD: Show me Lindsey!

'DING!'

(Lindsey Buckingham is the number 4 answer. The band jumps up and down and hugs each other as The Eagle's blood pressures slowly rise. Richard moves to John.)

RICHARD: One more and you win the game and go on to the bonus round. Name a way that Fleetwood Mac is better than The Eagles.

(John grins. He takes a deep breath.)

JOHN: Because we simply are the greatest band of all time and any other pathetic band like The Eagles who dare to challenge our supremacy will be crushed beneath the might of our superiority, not to mention Stevie's platform Reeboks!

(As the other band members shout out "AMEN!", Richard turns to the board.)

RICHARD: Show me....all of that!

'DING'

(Because we simply are the greatest band of all time and any other pathetic band like The Eagles who dare to challenge our supremacy will be crushed beneath the might of our superiority, not to mention Stevie's

platform Reeboks! appears word for word in very small

type in the number 5 spot. The band members jump up

and down and hug each other as The Eagles protest loudly and yell at Richard. Richard shrugs and mimes playing an imaginary violin.)

RICHARD: We'll be right back, but, before we go to commercial, we would like to give a special thanks to our special guest surveyors....100 people we stopped last night coming out of the Fleetwood Mac concert at the Staples Center.

(The Eagles eyes widen in horror as Fleetwood Mac fall over themselves laughing.)

THE EAGLES: NO! WAIT!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!! THE PRODUCERS CAN JUST TAKE THIS GAME AND STICK IT UP THEIR....

(Commercial cuts them off)


End file.
